“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure”

Today was a wonderful day… a lot of work and research for my book dream was accomplished. I emailed an organization founded in Liberia. I was put into connection with that organization from my crystal healer in Austin. I had a skype call with him on Tuesday to gain clarity on some topics that had been on my mind and he mentioned the organization to me, as they currently have a girl survivor from Uganda that they are connected with and she is living in Austin! I looked at their website and got chills… the good kind.

I got emotional watching some of their videos about how they have helped and changed the lives of some amazing individuals worldwide. I read about the girl from Uganda, and her vision mirrors mine (to focus on the children… to focus on how much growth has gone on and communities rehabilitated… the stories of hope; but still acknowledging that Northern Uganda needs more help; more schools etc.) I emailed them today… sharing my book dream, and how their visions correlate with mine, and inquired about the possibility of speaking with them. I attached my resume too – and expressed that I was attatching it as a way for them to see my background, and how I got where I am today. The executive director emailed me back within the hour… and said how my timing in contacting them was really interesting, as she just put a request out to the Universe yesterday for someone with elements she sees on my resume. I immediately emailed her back, saying the number on my resume was my Colombian cell number – and to call me anytime, or we can set up a skype conversation.

Ryan and his friend were in the living room during this time… which I had made into my makeshift office over the last couple of days, while working on my book dream. I excitedly shared all of this with them like I was a kid in a candy store for the first time. I knew I needed to ground myself, and tranquilo, so I picked up Roja (my guitar) and started playing. I couldn’t believe this was happening – whatever “this” was. Within 10 minutes of me replying my cell started ringing and I recognized it was an Austin telephone number. I was so excited I couldn’t answer straight away! I was smiling, and speechless in shock that something was happening, and even though I had no idea why she wanted to speak with me, but I intuivtely knew it was something good… We spoke on the phone for about 30minutes. And her urgency in calling me was because she was flying to Liberia tomorrow morning and wanted to connect with me before she left. She didn’t go into too much detail, but she kept saying she has been looking for the right person, the right feeling, and something is telling her to reach out to me. She personally called me… this is a globally known non profit, and the executive director personally called me! Angelina Jolie and Oprah support her and her organization and her visions… and here she was telling me how excited she was to hear from me! If that’s not a dual manifestation story I don’t know what is.

Truly believe in your dreams! What did you dream of being when you were growing up? Keep dreaming, and with their aliveness, the universe will make your dreams come true; if you believe. I really loved my job and life in Austin, but something was telling me to go travel again… and I listen to my heart and to that pull… to Colombia. I am finally here in Colombia… and my two weeks here has brought me so much clarity and healing; i know now that this is has been my pull down here… to receive the healing and clarity and growth i have received… and i have 3 more weeks left here!!!

“The soul of the world is nourished by peoples happiness… and when you want something all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it”. (Paulo Coehlo)

Leap and the Net Will Appear is a fridgemagnet that allowed me to realize I can leave a job i loved and just listen to my heart – but you have to believe in yourself, and believe in your dreams. The net will appear… I am proof of that.

Crossing the Colombian border…

I MADE IT!!! I flew from panama city, to a dodgy border town on the Caribbean side, and from there myself and two guy travellers I bonded with, got a boat to Capurgana, a Colombian border town. It was a beautiful boat ride following the coast line, seeing the waves crashing on the rocks to my right and the big ocean to my left. I was so excited when we crossed the border that I put my hand in the water… to feel it with all my senses, to make it even more real. Well my “romantic” long awaited entrance into the country that I have been dreaming about for 2years turned into me apologizing profusely to a 30 something aged Spanish traveller sat behind me… I soaked him! Putting my hand into the water, I soaked myself and this poor guy behind me, I felt so awful! We laughed about it the next day when I bumped into, where I apologized to him again.

I did think about certain individuals on that meditative boat ride… Travelling with two other guys, and being in Colombia, it did make me think past travelers i have met, and specifically the people in my life who would have understood my childlike excitement of being in Colombia. FINALLY!

I felt like I had to tell myself to calm down my excitement… tranquilo Erina. There are so many beautiful people in the world, i am where i am today because of the beautiful people in my life.

My second day in Colombia was a fun filled day of hiking through the jungle, along a path which was trying to camouflage its “pathness”… we hiked up and over the mountain back to Panama…

I did not expect to be back there so soon… but the hike across the border was beautiful, and the sleepy town of Zapzurro was too. The two other guys had sodas… I had to have a beer… it was called “Club Colombia” ☺

That night at the hostel, which was right on the ocean front (you could hear the waves crashing on the rocks and path) the electricity cut out… and I was locked out of my room (as I left the guys at the bar). As I was laying there on the hammock, in the dark, smiling with acknowledgement that I was finally here in Colombia, the manager of the hostel (a gorgeous looking Colombian sufer dude) came up and joined me. I shared with him my dreams of coming to his country, and how it has taken me two years etc. We shared a flavorless conversation, lost in translation, which took a delicious turn when he asked me in broken English if I liked chocolate. Claro que si – me encanta chocolate! He then asked me if I liked cheese – (I was thinking this guy was reading my mind… next he was going to ask me if I like ice-cream) “one moment please” he said as he walked away in the dark. He came back a few minutes later with a bowl of hot chocolate, and some queso fresco. I was in love… a gorgeous Colombian man, bringing me hot chocolate and cheese while I was laying in the hammock, hearing the rain and waves; seeing the lightning across the ocean, flickering in the sky… I was in love. Colombia. Finally. I now know that hot coco with cheese is a dish here. Delicious. When the guys came back from the bar, all tipsy, I told them how I was in love with Colombia… and how hot chocolate and cheese is typico dish.

That night I fell asleep writing in my journal and since then I have been generating a list of “reasons why I am falling in love with Colombia”.

A natural beauty

El Valle Zoo; Peacock Pose

I saw him from afar
I walked closer into his space
Beauty was captured

His colors were mesmerizing
I stopped and breathed and stared
I took in his glory with thanks

El Valle Zoo, Panama
(with Tiffany and Courtney)

“happiness is only made real when it is shared.”?

So I recently watched the movie Into the wild and memories of how I envisioned it from the book was brought to light. The protagonist was listening to his heart; and going on his own path in a contradictory way of being mindful of himself (and others), as well as being selfish. He longed for connection of what is around him, and goes out into the wild to feel it; feel the freedom, the challenges, the love, ultimately feel the connection with the universe. I have read numerous books that express about wanderlust and travel, and connecting as one with the universe, ‘the soul of the world’, and the more I feel present to myself and my surroundings, the more I feel connected, and on the right path.

Here in Kalu Yala I am surrounded by many people, from different walks of life, and connections among us have been made. Recently I have deepened my friendship with a couple more interns. I would see these beautiful people from afar, and wonder who they were. I would see her reading a book; or painting; or laughing. I would read his blogs and feel his presence, even within the crowded surroundings of others. “I want to know these people more” I said to myself; and the only obstacle stopping that from happening is me, I had to get myself out of the way. So I did, I got myself out of the way, and as I felt from the beginning – I was meant to connect on a deeper level with these 3 individuals. What a wonderful week this has been… Get out of your own way people.

In being present to wanting to be closer to these individuals, I was thinking how I would do that. Talk to them… Crack a silly “british” joke; let see them see I’m funny (or weird)… Be direct and tell them what is on my mind… Tell them I enjoy their company and want to get to know them more. “hey – I know we have been kinda living and working together for the last 3 months… can we be friends” I sound so cheesy – “hey I like you – can we hang out, tranquilo?”. I let go; I opened up, and expressed myself, and a deeper connection was made. There is so much power in sharing and expressing yourself, and equally with listening. Listen to yourself, your mind, your body and soul, and when you are present with yourself, you are present with the people in your life – and that to me is what love is: presence.

Why are certain people drawn to each other? Why do some people connect more than other people? These are questions I have pondered over. 2012 started out with me traveling with a new friend named Paul; it was an instant connection which was ignited by belting out ‘In Your Eyes’ by Pete Gabriel, and I am thankful for his friend who introduced us. A couple of weeks later I met up with another friend, more of an acquaintance really, and after one day, I needed a break – i couldn’t travel with him; Again I asked why do some people connect more than others?

One theory of this ‘connection’ I have is that we connect with people who reflect where we are in our life at that time; or we have had similar experiences. I feel this is evidently true for me. I asked the universe to connect me with these 3 interns; because I felt like I was suppose to know them, feel more, learn more… It I was answered One intern described to me their me longing for a deeper connection with people, a hunger for it, and their feeling of being lost and on the wrong path. It was wonderful to be able to be there for them, and understand, as I too have experienced insatiable desires. I have learnt the depths of what it means to be attached to something, or someone… I heard in their expression this attachment and expectation, and it was great to connect, share and help them. The second noble truth is; Life is difficult because of attachment, because we crave satisfaction that are inherently dissatisfying, which brings fear. I connected with the other two interns in different ways; one answered curious, personal questions I had about them without me even having to express or ask anything. With the third intern I made it happen by asking to have some personal time scheduledduring our weekend.

Having learnt from the past, if something is meant to be – it will be; whatever the situation. So why do we have this desire to connect? While watching Into The Wild was the quote “Happiness is Only real when shared” grabbed my attention. It was a realization that the protagonist had towards the end of his journey, a journey he took by himself, in which he realized that connections shared are the happiest moments. Why do I want to travel with someone I am connected with? I love traveling by myself, and experiencing all the beautiful things this life… But why do I too, long to be with someone, to connect with ‘someone’ and see the world. Maybe there is truth in that ‘happiness is only made real when it is shared” – think about it… I know how I feel when I share something I love for example my last Peanut M&M. You know you want that M&M so bad… So bad you don;t want to give it away, but I do, there is happiness in sharing that, as you know that you made that person happy. It makes me happy to help make people happy; knowing that I have made a positive difference. The connections and experiences I have made with certain people within Kalu Yala and my job has made the whole experience for me. For me, looking back at this, I know my happiest times were shared with the people and the nature i’ve connected with.

“If you contribute to other people’s happiness, you will find the true goal, the true meaning of life.” Dalai Lama.

‘Your reason and your passion are the sails and rudder of your seafaring soul…’

Felix – words can’t express how thankful I am to you and your family for letting me experience sailing. I think the best job I did besides inventory and tying the lines was drinking red wine with you It got me thinking about an old friend that sails and after being out there with you, and dreaming about the Pirates that once ruled in Portobello… I realized that I have explored many places and will continue to explore more. But the earths surface has more water than land – I want to see more water. AGUA. Thanks to you my bucket list has some new additions that involve water and being on boats. I finally made it to San Blas; it was a tease as I met numerous sailers (private and charter) that were sailing on to Colombia. I drank rum with them and listened to some of their stories. I wish was going on to Colombia… My time will come. Fe – I love you dearly, thank you for being such a wonderful friend.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
–Mark Twain

The Alchemist

“Because there is a force that wants you to realize your Personal Legend; it whets your appetite with a taste of success.”“In order to find the treasure, you will have to follow the omens. God has prepared a path for everyone to follow. You just have to read the omens that he left for you.”

by, Paulo Coehlo

If you haven’t read this book; i highly recommend it – and re-read it when it calls you. When i first read it I was Fatima… now i relate to Santiago. I am Santiago; i have left my sheep behind… and i am off to find my treasure. As mush as i loved my job at Webb and my life and joy’s in Austin… i know i am exactly where i am supposed to be; and meeting and connecting with the inspirational people that i cross paths with.

“The soul of the world is nourished by peoples happiness… and when you want something all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it”. 

Un Gallo Loco

Last week Tiffany and I bought a Rooster for the house, as we want the chickens to lay eggs. Learning how to take care of chickens and a rooster has been an interesting experience. Did you know Roosters sleep in trees? It was a quiet ride home, with Alejandro in the back, with his legs tied… but as we entered our street; he ruffled and roared… Tiffany and I pulled into the driveway screaming. I named our Rooster Alejandro; he is a loud, stocky handsome Gallo. A few days after we got him, I was informed that he was too mature to help the chickens make eggs… if you know what i mean. Pobresito Gallo. Alejandro is getting along quite well though; and laying on the hammock watching them makes me really enjoy having them roam around.

La Verdad

All One

“it’s who your with, not where you are…” – who said that anyway? Where am i? Panama. Who am I with? No-one. Its Christmas Eve and I am alone. Alone… break that word up; A lone… or Al one… All One. I mentioned that in a yoga class I taught once. We are all one; and in remembering that during times when we feel alone, it brings me back to the present that we are all one, together. Embracing being alone, was one of the biggest challenges of backpacking solo that I encountered last year, and once I acknowledged it… I was ok with it… which turned into me being peaceful and happy being ‘alone’.

In my opinion we all want the same thing… to love, and be loved… to understand and to be understood. I love life, and the life that has been handed to me, and the choices I am making and the lessons I have learned; I understand that I chose to leave and spend the holiday season without family or close friends, and I am at peace with that, it feels right. But sat here on this beautiful balcony, watching the amazing fireworks display over the Panama Skyline, feeling ‘alone’, I can’t help but think of my friends all over the world, and where they are and what they are doing. The cold of England with the hot tea and full English breakfasts (Where it is already Christmas ~ Merry Christmas!)… the snow and rain with my family and friends in the Pacific North West… and East Coast… To Tejas. Te amo todos. We are All One. I. Love. You!

Bayano Caves

On a Sunday morning, five guys and myself set out in a little boat on Lake Bayano. As we reached the cave we cut the engine off… and rowed into the darkness. I could feel the fear and adrenaline rushing through me as it got darker and darker, and the ceiling of the cave got lower and lower. With our hard hats on, and waterproof flashlights in hand, we exited the boat into waist deep dark water. Flashback of horror movies I have watched entered my mind, including “The Decent”… I breathed deep… squealed a bit (seriously; i was scared)… and treaded forward, making sure that I was in the middle of the men. The fear felt good, and I felt so alive and strong. Once the fear dissolved, the excitement really kicked in, and instead of horror images in my mind, I was welcoming Sylvester Stallone and the Rocky theme It was Panamania (for you cuz). 

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